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My world was opened when I started reading synecdochic, when I started exploring LJ and although this is not the primary site of my writing (yet), this page had too long been blank.
Recently, my heart was rocked by the death of my beloved dog, and then, by the death of Ianto on Torchwood. Timing sucked galaxies as naive me sought out the comfort of one of my favorite shows to escape the active mourning I was doing for my dog, and got blindsided by the death of my favorite character. How does the mind cope? Well, if you've got my mind, I had dreams for days about death, about extending the sense of loss to more near and dear, and I found myself lying in bed, unable to sleep, trying to shake dark and sad thoughts.
So, often, I would get up and read Stargate stories, Syn's stories, Ivorygates' stories...
And it helped.
Helps.
I am also dealing with an upcoming job where I wiil be responsible for keeping my cool, and not being irresponsible, not fucking up, because this endeavor is worldchanging and huge, and people not only believe in me, but want to give me MORE to do... and I have been fired for aggressively getting in my own way before. So, I am looking for a therapist, and I am going to keep writing myself out of my fear and working on dealing with it, instead of hiding in it.
Recently, my heart was rocked by the death of my beloved dog, and then, by the death of Ianto on Torchwood. Timing sucked galaxies as naive me sought out the comfort of one of my favorite shows to escape the active mourning I was doing for my dog, and got blindsided by the death of my favorite character. How does the mind cope? Well, if you've got my mind, I had dreams for days about death, about extending the sense of loss to more near and dear, and I found myself lying in bed, unable to sleep, trying to shake dark and sad thoughts.
So, often, I would get up and read Stargate stories, Syn's stories, Ivorygates' stories...
And it helped.
Helps.
I am also dealing with an upcoming job where I wiil be responsible for keeping my cool, and not being irresponsible, not fucking up, because this endeavor is worldchanging and huge, and people not only believe in me, but want to give me MORE to do... and I have been fired for aggressively getting in my own way before. So, I am looking for a therapist, and I am going to keep writing myself out of my fear and working on dealing with it, instead of hiding in it.
